RAGBRAI Day 2

Day 2 – July 22, 2013 – Harlan to Perry – 83 miles

“You need to persevere . . .” – Hebrews 10:36a       

We got out before 6:00 this morning on the road to our longest day.  Pastor Tim and I paired up knowing full well that we would not be keeping up with any of the others, especially Joey and Rick who intended to do the optional loop that made the full day over 100 miles.  We made it to the first town about 15 miles down the road where the loop starts.  Rick and Joey waited there for us so that they could start at the same time as us from there to see if they could catch us. 

They did – with 22 miles to go!

Tim and I pressed on for the first half of the day, making only brief stops.  We lingered a bit in Guthrie Center and then headed into a stretch that included the steepest hill we will face on the entire journey.  We made it to the top although it took quite a bit of effort.  Then we moved on to Yale which was where Joey and Rick caught us as we took a considerable break there.  The last 22 miles were mostly flat but we were glad to reach Perry High School where we will stay the night.

At Perry we had showers and spaghetti at the high school where they also opened up the building for the whole night allowing us access to bathrooms.  Sam, Rick, Joey and I had a game of Risk in the air conditioned school library just before a major storm blew through.  I got trapped at the library waiting for it to pass and so am taking time to get this report done!

I continue to be amazed at the sense of unity that comes when many people are doing the same thing.  There are many different levels and speeds; different kinds of equipment and approaches.  But being a part of that flow toward a common destination is empowering and was a source of encouragement that allowed Tim and I to continue when we were past our normal limits.  It seems that there is much to learn from this trip and I pray that we will continue to do so tomorrow as we head to Des Moines.

RAGBRAI REPORT - DAY 1

Day 1 – July 21, 2013 – Council Bluffs to Harlan – 50 miles

“The Heavens Declare the Glory of God”

As promised, Gene and Sandi got us going at 5:00 am with the goal of getting on the road by 6:00.  We  did that easily and joined hundreds of other early risers on our first ride of the week.  It was truly a beautiful day.  When we woke, there was lightning in the distance but it never threatened us.  As we rode into the sunrise, the clouds and sun combined for a glorious testimony to the creative genius of God. 

The ride itself was easier than maybe I had expected.  There is something about riding (or perhaps doing anything!) with many other people that supports you and strengthens you.  The miles kind of fly by as you are moved along by the collective energy of so many going in the same direction in common purpose.  I am positive that there is a spiritual/emotional/behavioral application here but not for today!  Today, it’s just about riding bikes.  We arrived in Harlan in about 4 hours which was much earlier than we had expected.  We talked about how we could have skyped into the 10:00 service at church back home!

The ride itself exposed us to the economics of RAGBRAI as we were almost constantly in view of some sign or another promising us delectable delights of one kind or another.  Among our favorites that amused but did not tempt us too much were “hamballs on a stick” and “chocolate covered bacon.”  Each town is lined with various vendors.  Some apparently will reappear in other towns tomorrow.  Others were more local.  One sign promised “church ladies who remind you of your mom and grandma” selling pies.  It was called the Church Ladies Group.  It is interesting to think about living in one of these towns so similar to ones where I work.  What must it be like to have your life suddenly and for one day only invaded by more than 15,000 people on bicycles!

In Harlan, we rested.  We paid $5 for shower that felt like it was worth $10.  We rested some more.  Then Joey, Rick, Sam and I went into town to find a place to watch the USA/El Salvador Gold Cup Quarterfinal game.  We ended up at Pizza Ranch which is a bit unromantic for an event like RAGBRAI.  But the buffet gave us a chance to graze and enjoy the game a bit.  Following the game, we went back to camp (High School parking lot) and found ourselves down at the bottom of the hill at Grace Baptist Church where, at least in my mind, we had our first encounter with people seeing RAGBRAI as an opportunity to serve rather than to fund raise.  Contrary to really any other group we saw, church related or otherwise, they were giving away polish sausages, hamburgers, fat slices of really good watermelon and cold water.  No donations accepted.  We sat in their air conditioned fellowship hall (also free) for a while and then headed back to the high school for a concert by a couple of young women from Omaha, one of whom is from Harlan.  And that’s where we are now.

Tomorrow, we do 83 miles.  Joey and Rick will probably do the extra loop for a 100 mile total.  Probably not in my future or Tim’s!  It’s our longest and therefore most challenging day.  Hopefully, I can tell about tomorrow!

RAGBRAI Report - Day 0 - “click-click-click-click-click”

I am doing RAGBRAI (The (Des Moines) Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa) with Joey and a couple other guys from church.  It is a week long event.  I hope to blog each day internet access allowing! Here is the first installment.

July 20, 2013 – 

I remember being a kid and riding roller coasters.  While I was excited standing in line, there were those moments of anticipation mixed with terror as the cars headed up the first incline – “click-click-click-click-click”.  I was suddenly aware that I was stuck on this thing and whether I wanted to get off or not, I couldn’t.  Sure I had seen maybe hundreds of others go up the same ramp and return a couple minutes later seemingly no worse for the experience.  Some even looked like they had enjoyed it!  But in just a few seconds it was my turn to over that first hump and into who knows what.  And even if I wanted to get off, I couldn’t!

That’s about as close a story as I can tell to reflect my feelings as we boarded Gene and Sandi Loeffelholz’s RV and headed from Dubuque to Council Bluffs to camp out in anticipation of the first day of RAGBRAI.  Once that RV left Dubuque, there was no turning back.  “click-click-click-click-click”  

Six hours later we arrived and set up camp.  Our current crew consists of Joey and I, Pastor Tim Bees, Gene and Sandi and their son, Rick, who is a PE teacher, swim coach and triathlete – a veritable fitness machine.  Gene and Sandi have been doing RAGBRAI for 20 years and Rick has done several.  Rick was the one who talked Tim into really doing it this year instead of just talking about it.  Tim had a serious heart issue several years ago and has been seeking motivation to stay healthy.  RAGBRAI seems to fit the call!  He has talked about doing RAGBRAI for a couple of years now. 

There are a lot of people here.  There’s a full carnival of food vendors, bike shops, and assorted other businesses and organizations.  The most puzzling one to me was the University of Iowa Archaeology Department.  At their tent you could get a nice temporary tattoo of an arrowhead (properly called a “projectile point” of course!).

In addition to the carnival, there are all kinds of people, bikes and activities.  Plenty of eating and drinking going on – I can see already why they say that no one loses weight on RAGBRAI!  One lady a few RVs down from us is spinning wool.  We have seen people from Utah, North Carolina, Idaho and Texas among others.  There will be close to 20,000 riding through the week. 

So with the gently sound of clicking in my ears, we are about to ride down to the river and do the ceremonial dipping of the back wheels in the Missouri River.  Tomorrow, we go over the hump!  I hope it’s mostly downhill.

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us!”  - Hebrews 12:1c

Poverty is a context, not an excuse

I wrote this at the beginning of the 21012/13 school year and am posting it now as a reference in case I want to send it to someone!  It was written in association with my work with Aha!Process (www.ahaprocess.com) and the Bridges Out of Poverty work.

            The new school year has arrived and with it the opportunity for me to do a number of presentations to various school districts and other organizations on the subject of dealing with kids from poverty.  In my first week of school, I had the privilege of speaking to school bus drivers, city bus drivers, the K-12 faculty of one of the rural districts I serve and the small staff of a brand new alternative school in another district.  In every audience there are various attitudes that are fairly easy to read on the faces of those about to subjected to my marvelous insights!

           

            “Who is this joker?”

            “I have so much stuff to do in my room.”

            “I can hardly wait to hear what he has to say.  This is going to be so interesting.”

                                (Usually younger folks who think they are still in college!)

            More seriously, poverty and other social issues are emotionally loaded subjects.  Because of the strong emotions association with the subject of poverty, there are those who are obviously resistant along the lines of “Great!  Here is someone else to make excuses for these people.”  And at the other end, those who are obviously receptive to anything that smacks of tolerance and learning to accept people just the way they are.  “You can’t blame them for how they are!  Just look at where they have come from.”  I think both of these attitudes are unfortunate and potentially damaging to real children who have real potential and real needs.  Both lead to justification and excusing that are not helpful to those students who are often most in need of what school and other systems have to offer.

            Among the criticisms I have heard about Dr. Payne’s approach to addressing poverty is that seeing poverty through Dr. Payne’s lens results in lowered expectations for kids in poverty.  Both of the above attitudes could certainly result in a view of kids in poverty that concludes that there is no way they can meet expectations.  But if those who are exposed to Framework concepts come to and apply the conclusion that somehow these concepts justify lower expectations, they are missing the power and opportunity that Framework affords those who are working with under resourced students.

            One of my favorite slides in the current Framework material is the Key Point #13:

            Mutual respect is:

• High expectations
• Insistence
• Support

            Dealing with kids in poverty through Dr. Payne’s concepts has led me to the conclusion that not only should we not expect less of kids from poverty, but rather that expectations must be more clearly defined and rigidly enforced.  All three of the above points are necessary to enhance the possibilities of success for kids coming from under resourced backgrounds.

            High expectations are necessary because so many of the kids I work with have had limited exposure to high expectations; at least as they relate to achievement and education.  They may have heard or seen expectations but never completely understood their relevance or perhaps more importantly how to meet them.  I have had some success working with a variety of visual mental models to help teach and reinforce both expectations the steps to meet them.

            High and clear expectations are also needed because life in poverty is often fluid in terms of changing priorities and expectations.  This can make it difficult not only to meet expectations but even to know which expectations to meet.  It might be that the school “system” has contributed to this confusion by having so many expectations from grades and behavior to fire drills and lunch room regulations. 

            Insistence is necessary because it is helpful for keeping focus and understanding the importance of meeting expectations.  Many students, from poverty or not, have difficulty keeping their eye on the goal.  The kids may need that outer voice that encourages and even demands, “I will not let you fail at this task”.  A few positive outcomes and the need for the outer voice fades as the kids develop their own inner voice based on confidence obtained from repeated successes.

            Support is necessary because many students lack the necessary skills to meet the expectations to which they are held accountable in the education system.  Support may be needed for skill development in areas ranging from time management to academic skills to emotional resources for dealing with frustration.  In the meeting of expectations with support, skills are also being developed to better meet future expectations.

            It is important to mention that all three are necessary.  Expectations and Insistence without Support is going to lead to frustration and even bitterness or perhaps more likely, enabling – the student meets the expectations because we insist that he do so, but in the end we end up doing most of the work ourselves!  Expectations and Support without Insistence can also be seen as rules and procedures without relationship which according to the well known saying leads to rebellion.  Insistence and Support without clear Expectations is directionless.  Stability is found in adequately providing all three parts.

            Another way to look at it is to see these three as the What, Why and How of meeting expectations.  The Expectations are the What, Insistence becomes the Why, and Support is the How.  My experience in schools tells me that as a system, we have lots of Whats (Expectations) and believe that we are providing the Hows (Support), but are deficient in the Whys (Insistence) that can make the educational process relevant to students whose backgrounds have not made it so.  So when the system sees kids in poverty not doing well, we hear, “What do you expect from those kids?” or “Those poor kids, they have had such a hard life.  We can’t expect much more.”

            Some have heard Dr. Payne’s material and believed it to be more of the same – excusing kids from poverty or liberating them from the unrealistic expectations of the school system.   For me, Dr. Payne’s material is useful because rather than excusing kids from poverty, the concepts have liberated the kids I know from MY beliefs regarding their capabilities and potential.  The Framework material gave me a context for understanding the difficulties that under resourced students face.  It did not provide an excuse; for me or for the students!  Rather than modifying (translate: reduce) expectations so that under resourced kids can meet them, I now understand that the expectations need to be more clearly defined and more rigidly enforced through Insistence and Support.  Rather than being satisfied with under resourced kids not meeting expectations (but “they did the best they could”), I now understand that the resources in the system need to be applied in ways that prove to the system and more importantly to the students themselves that they can be successful.  This is hard work for sure, but so gratifying and one of the main reasons most of us got into education in the first place!  So roll up your sleeves, define those expectations clearly and then do whatever it takes to help the kids you know meet those expectations – no excuses!

Haiti, Curses, and Deals with the Devil

5.5.13

I have a good friend who is a school nurse at one of the schools I serve as a school psychologist.  Aside from being the best school nurse with whom I have ever worked, she devotes a great deal of her free time and resources to ongoing mission work in Haiti.  She takes two trips per year serving at a health care clinic and leading teams of volunteers to experience Christian compassion in action.  When she is home, she spends quite a bit of time raising funds to support the clinic. 

Recently, my friend had dinner with some former co-workers from a hospital where she worked in the past.  At dinner, my friend spent some time talking about and promoting the work in Haiti.  She talked about the devastation of the January, 2010 earthquake and the ongoing need for outreach to the destitute people there.   After listening for a bit, one of her friends, who attends a significant evangelical church, mentioned her understanding that the earthquake and desperate poverty in Haiti were evidence of a curse that began when the people of Haiti made a deal with the devil more than 200 years ago to enlist the devil’s assistance in freeing the people of Haiti from slavery.  It was clear to my friend that her dinner mate and the others who nodded in agreement were using this argument to challenge her involvement in contributing so much time and money to Haiti.  They certainly were not sharing this perspective out of support for her work!

I am not going to go into detail regarding my friend’s reaction to her friends which she shared with me the next day at school.  Suffice it to say that I would need to use the word “enraged” more than once!  This “Haiti Curse” story relative to the earthquake in 2010 appears to have started with Pat Robertson, but some Christians apparently continue to hold onto it, revealing what seems to be a very shallow understanding of curses and dealings with the devil, but affording them a self-righteous way to excuse themselves from action.  There is so much wrong with my friend’s co-workers’ attitude that it is hard to know where to start.  I’ll suggest five things.  You can pick your favorite.

1) It can’t be a good thing to make a deal with the devil and any self-respecting follower of Jesus would recognize the danger and possible consequences of such a thing – unless that follower understood that people have been making deals with the devil ever since the serpent said, “You will not surely die.” and Adam and Eve took the first bite of that forbidden fruit.  It doesn’t matter if you consider this a literal story or not, it speaks about human nature.  We all make deals with the devil every day.  We are in a continual tug of war with God for who is going to be in charge of our lives.  And our pride and selfish desires lead us to compromise what we say we believe for the sake of what we want to believe.  So when Paul writes about this in Romans 3, saying things like “There is no one righteous, not even one.” (vs. 10) and “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (vs. 23), he is talking about the people of Haiti, me, my school nurse friend and every one of the ladies at that dinner table.  There is no difference.  I wonder if those ladies thought about their own deals with the devil - maybe even the one that allowed them to sit in judgment on the entire population of a country they have never visited (see James 4:11,12  as an example). 

2) We live in a fallen world.  I don’t dispute that the present world is not the paradise that God created it to be.  Who would?  I also don’t dispute that there is a link between human sin - “deals with the devil” beginning with the one in Eden - and the brokenness we experience in creation.  There really are earthquakes and volcanos and hurricanes and tornados and myriad other natural and man-made disasters. But I wonder if those ladies at dinner would apply the same “curse” standard to victims of every natural disaster or man-made one for that matter.  What would those ladies say to those who went to and continue to go to Joplin, MO to serve those recovering from the tornado in May, 2011?  What about Hurricane Katrina?  Or the tsunami in Japan?  Or my friend whose daughter was killed by a drunk driver?  Are these all the fault of the victims because of their deals with the devil?  Did they deserve the curse? 

3) A great way to avoid responsibility for helping those in need is to blame them for their circumstances.  The most common way I see this applied by the white, middle class folks who are my peers is in the area of helping the poor.  “Poor people are lazy.”  “How can I be sure that they won’t use my money for alcohol or drugs?” “They are just using the system.”  Since they (people in poverty) have the problem, they are responsible for their situation.  Therefore, I am not responsible for improving their situation.  It might not be stated as directly as this, but this kind of thinking is basically saying, “They deserve this.” similar to point #2 above.  The further development of this line of thinking is that I am free from having to take any action to make things better.   In its worst form, this becomes guilt-free selfish living!  And it is far too common. 

4) According to the story the ladies shared with my friend, the Haitians made a deal with the devil.  For what?  To get out of slavery.  Who were they enslaved by?  My ancestors and the ancestors of those nice white ladies having dinner with my friend!  We did this to them, culturally if not literally.  We were the curse!  The God in whose name many of my ancestors and those of the ladies came to this “New World” probably didn’t seem like a very good option to the enslaved Haitians at the time!  This is not revisionist history or an attempt to make white people feel guilty.  If we are going to blame 200+ year old Haitians for the present day earthquakes their ancestors are suffering, we better be ready to also take responsibility for our 200+ year old ancestors and the actions that led those 200+ year old Haitians to make that deal.   Anything else is disingenuous at best and blatant racism at worst.

5) Let’s assume the worst for a minute.  The Haitians really did make that deal and the curse of the earthquake really was related to that deal with the devil.  As a person who believes in biblical explanations for the current mess of a world in which we find ourselves living, I’m not even completely opposed to that, at least in principal.  But if I am a follower of Jesus, as these ladies also claimed to be, I have to start with the curse on my own life (“Cursed is everyone who does not do everything written in the Book of the Law” Paul writing in Galatians 3:10 and referencing Deuteronomy 27:26).  The curse on my life was broken by Jesus - a curse that was very much my fault.  I sinned.  I made the deal with the devil.  The curse was broken through sacrifice.  (“Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us.” Galatians 3:13)   I am thankful every day that Jesus did not look at me and say, “Not my problem – he made a deal with the devil and he deserves it!”  He broke my curse.  More than that, he invited me to join him in advancing the kingdom of God on earth (“As you go, preach this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven is near.’  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those having leprosy, drive out demons.  Freely you have received, freely give.”-  Matthew 10:7, 8.  “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations” – Matthew 28:19.  “Dear friends, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” – 1John 4:18 ).  He invited me to join him in the privilege of breaking curses.  What better work is there to do?  Find those who are under a curse and be a part of setting them free.  I don’t think that an honest examination of faith in Jesus allows one the luxury of accepting the sacrifice of Jesus and the freedom from the curse of one’s own sin while simultaneously blaming others for the curse of their sin as an excuse for doing nothing to help break that curse.

I wasn’t at the dinner and can only use the ladies as examples based on what my friend told me about their comments.  But I find this shallow approach to curses and brokenness far too often in my encounters with Christians.  To be honest, I find it too often in my own thoughts and justifications for doing nothing in the face of needs both physical and spiritual.  That is why I am so grateful for my school nurse friend and others like her who reflect the sacrifice of Christ in their service to the most needy.   It is an easy thing to identify curses and the effects of curses on people’s lives.  It is another thing entirely to get involved in the work of God to break those curses.  People like my friend inspire me to do better.  I hope she does the same for you!

For information about her work, please visit www.serveHAITI.org

We are all George Zimmerman

(Recently, the sad story of George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin was in the news again.  It reminded me that I had started this essay on the anniversary of the event in late February.  Here it is a month and a half late, but still relevant.)

At the end of February, it had been the one year anniversary of the tragic killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman in Sanford, FL.  While the case continues to be worked out in the courts and the exact details remain unknown and perhaps unknowable, the impact that the killing had on our culture continues and was remembered by many at the time of the anniversary.  Vigils were held, candles were lit, and many wondered how it is that these kinds of things happen in our world.  The dynamics of the tragedy have been revisited in this last month with the death of 16 year old Kimani Gray in Brooklyn.

As I remembered the story of what happened to Trayvon Martin, I also remembered the initial public gatherings that occurred not only in Sanford but in many places around the country.  Of the signs I remember people holding up at these gatherings, there were many with some version of “We are all Trayvon Martin”.  The message was that anyone could be mistaken as being something they were not based on the reaction of another person.  Some crazy “George Zimmerman” out there could shoot me, too!

Even at that time, I knew that this was only partially true.  For me especially as a middle aged, middle class, white male, I was not Trayvon and it was disingenuous for me to think that I could identify with him and others who are routinely judged because of their outer characteristics.  I have never been followed in a store, something that is not true for many African Americans I know.  I have not been “profiled” by the police as is seen in people being pulled over for various trivial car equipment problems, something that seems to occur more frequently to people who don’t look like me than to those who do..   When I wear I hooded sweatshirt (a hoodie),  probably the worst that someone thinks is, “Look at that old dork wearing a hoodie!” 

I am not Trayvon Martin.

It is unlikely that we interested but disconnected observers of this tragedy will ever know the exact details of what happened when Trayvon Martin was killed.  But some things are known and I want to focus on one.  This incident would not have happened if George Zimmerman had not made some assumptions about who he thought Trayvon was.  There is another time to discuss the whole idea of neighborhood watch people patrolling the streets armed in the first place.  But leaving that aside, the incident between Trayvon and George took place because George saw something about Trayvon that led him to initiate a contact with the young man.  Without George’s judgment of the threat posed by Trayvon, George never would have approached him.  What happened after that the specific details will likely remain shrouded to all but God.  But certainly George’s assessment of who he perceived Trayvon to be led to the incident in the first place.  And George’s emotions related to whatever Trayvon’s reaction was to the initial contact were certainly based in part on what he expected someone like Trayvon to do – based on George’s initial assessment of who he perceived him to be. 

And this was where I began to realize that while I am not Trayvon Martin and don’t feel comfortable saying that I can identify with people of color who experience regularly, maybe daily what I have only experienced a few times,  I am George Zimmerman.  In fact, I think we are all George Zimmerman.  It is human nature to judge others based on our preconceived ideas of what we expect them to be based on our picture of what “people like that” are like.  This natural tendency to judgment is not exclusive to any race, age, gender, religion – we all do it.  And our initial actions towards others based on our preconceptions lead to all kinds of divisions, conflicts, disruptions, and in the worst cases, physical confrontations and even, as in the case of Trayvon Martin, death.   

In addition to being George Zimmermans, we also tend to group ourselves with others who see things the same way that we do, thereby affirming our impressions, opinions, or probably more accurately, our prejudices.  We all prefer to be with others who are “like us.”  But in order for us to be with people who are like us, there must be others who are not like us.  And we are all too skilled at defining that “unlikeness” in negative, judgmental terms.   When we see kids doing this in junior and senior high school, we talk about cliques and peer pressure and how bad it is.  But when adults do it, it somehow seems more refined to us!

Another aspect of seeing the George Zimmerman in ourselves  relates to how we can ever make things better.  When I acknowledge and begin to deal with my own George Zimmerman, I take responsibility for my thoughts and actions that contribute to judgment and division in my community.  When I try to identify with Trayvon Martin, I am identifying with the victim and I need someone else to change.  Put another way, if I hold up a sign that says “We are all Trayvon Martin”, I am telling all the George Zimmermans in the world that they need to change in order for our communities to get better.  The responsibility and power for change lies in someone else’s hands.  But if I hold up a sign that says, “We are all George Zimmerman” (figuratively, of course!), I am identifying with those who judge and justify their actions based on their judgments, and I am acknowledging that I have plenty of my own judgments.  The responsibility and power for change are now in my hands.  I can do something about it!

As best as we can understand, George’s judgment of Trayvon and his decision to act on that judgment began a series of events that ended in tragedy.  It is unlikely that I will ever be involved in something like what happened in Sanford, but do my judgments ever start a series of events that contribute to division rather than reconciliation?  It is a serious question that everyone needs to consider for themselves.

I think this dynamic is something of what Jesus was referring to when he advised people to “first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5)   I don’t pretend to know what exactly happened between George and Trayvon when this tragedy took place.  I am using the figures that they have become in our cultural discussion to make a point:  We are all much too accomplished at seeing the fault in others and much less skilled at the introspection that exposes our own contributions to the problems that we face personally, in our families, and in the broader society.  All the “isms” are the result.  The solution starts with me because I am George Zimmerman.

How We Teach Peer Pressure at School

Teaching Kids to Be Dumb (I mean, to Think For Themselves)

and/or

How We Teach Kids Peer Pressure at School

My friend Lucy came to see me the other day.  Okay, I probably should refer to her as a student named Lucy.  But after I have talked to someone for a while and no longer see her regularly because she is doing well, I think of the person as an “old friend.”  Anyway, Lucy is a senior and asked to see me.  I was a bit worried because in the past that meant something was going on in her life and it wasn’t always good.  But in this case, Lucy just wanted to use me as a resource for a class project.  And her project got me thinking about something I think about all the time!

Lucy was doing a project on drug use among high school students and the premise of her project was that there need to be better classes on the topics of drinking and drug use and so on for high school students because programs like DARE which are done with elementary students are basically “useless” – her word not mine.  But I agree with the word choice and any research I have seen on the topic has supported that elementary prevention programs are not effective in the long term.  Lucy said, “I don’t remember anything we did in DARE (when I was in fifth grade).  And it didn’t stop me or anyone else from getting into alcohol and drugs.”  I immediately thought of a passage from my soon to be released book called “Fool’s Gold: Searching for Goodness in the Human Heart” (Yup, this is an unashamed advertisement!)  I showed Lucy this section which refers to “Just Say No” education that is based on a values clarification model (“decide for yourself what you believe and choose based on that”):

These programs are started at early grades in the schools and the basic approach is to teach kids early that there are good reasons not to smoke (or drink or do drugs) and no real good reasons to smoke.  The kids are taught to make a figurative list (sometimes literal) of pros and cons of smoking.  Ask any first grader who has been through this kind of teaching and they will likely be able to give you several reasons why smoking is bad for you and maybe one or none why someone might smoke.  The one reason will be “to be cool.”  But first graders don’t see other first graders who smoke as cool.  So that reason isn’t appealing.  Recognizing that there are unique situations out there, in general there are very few first graders who are going to smoke or drink or do drugs.  Teaching them reasons why not to do those things is pretty much meaningless.  But teaching them how to think about these issues and make their own decisions is laying a pretty big trap for adolescence.

All through elementary school, Julie has been taught to think for herself and to make up her own mind.  She graduated from the DARE program in sixth grade and now has gone on to junior high school.  When Julie was in elementary school, she made a list just as she had been taught about why she was never going to start smoking.  It kind of looked like this:

SMOKING

                                Pros                                                                      Cons

                1.  Some people think it’s cool                                     1.  You can get cancer

                                                                                          2.  It makes your clothes smell bad

                                                                                          3.  It costs lots of money

                                                                                          4.  My parents will be mad at me

                                                                                          5.  You could die

                                                                                          6.  It’s against the law

                                                                                          7.  My teachers will be sad

                                                                                          8.  It makes your teeth yellow

                                                                                          9.  It makes your breath stink

                This pro/con list made it easy for Julie to see why she would never smoke.  The cons clearly outweighed the pros.  Of course, Julie had little opportunity to test her list in elementary school as she was never actually offered a cigarette by anyone, including any of her friends.  Nor was she in any way interested in finding out what smoking was like.

                But now Julie is in junior high and things have changed a bit.  Some of her friends have started dabbling in various things they all said they would not do when they were learning about them during Red Ribbon Week in elementary school.  Julie has even gone to a couple of parties where some of the people she knows have been smoking.  Time to get out the list to see if the cons still outweigh the pros.  Julie has been well taught to think for herself and not just to do what her friends are doing.  In fact, in many cases, Julie has learned to not even do what her parents say just because they are her parents.  She knows how to clarify her own values and she can make her own decisions; except now the list looks like this:

SMOKING

                                Pros                                                         Cons

                  Some                             1.  You can get cancer

                                                                                  2.  It makes your clothes smell bad

                      People               3.  It costs lots of money

                                                                                   4.  My parents will be mad at me

                     Think                         5.  You could die

                                                                                  6.  It’s against the law

                      It’s                                           7.  My teachers will be sad

                                                                                   8.  It makes your teeth yellow

                     COOL!!!                9.  It makes your breath stink

                So now, when Julie gets out the scale and weighs the decision out, which side weighs more?  And so, like many kids who in first and second grade swore they would never smoke (as if kids that age can make decisions like that!), Julie now joins those with clarified values who choose to do what they said they never would.  And it’s not even that the content has changed in the list of pros and cons; only the relevance of the content.

                If this is true for smoking, it’s the same for drugs and sex and shoplifting and lying to parents and other adults and cheating and all sorts of things that many of us, left entirely to our own “goodness”, would do!  What kids learn from this kind of instruction is not useful for making decisions that will affect their lives in a positive way (not smoking, not doing drugs, etc.).  Instead, it teaches them a way of thinking that in many ways actually gives them permission to do the very things we thought we were teaching them not to do!  We’ve taught them to think for themselves according their own knowledge of good and evil regardless of what their friends, teachers, or even their parents think. 

Lucy took one look at this and just like her namesake waiting for Schroeder to play just the right version of Jingle Bells shouted, “THAT’S IT!!”  She totally got it and said that was exactly what happened in her own life and in the lives of her friends.  Once people started doing it, whatever “it” was, in order to fit in, logical reasons to not do it were overwhelmed by emotional reasons to do it.  But we taught the kids to think like this!  “Make a list; check it twice, make up your own mind!”

Someone says, “Sure, but that’s why we teach kids about resisting peer pressure and we do that even more when the kids hit junior and senior high.  We tell them, ‘You shouldn’t do something just because your friends do.’”  In the category of actions speak louder than words, I can only say, “Really?”  From the time kids enter the institutional school setting they are told in subtle and not so subtle ways that the only sin is to be different from the kids around them.  Hear these teacher voices:

·         “Everyone else is already in line.  You need to get in line also.”
·         “If you are not sure what to do, you should look at your classmates 

       and do what they are doing.”
·         “Your friends are not going to want to play with you if you keep acting like that.”
·         “I like what the blue table is doing; the other tables might want to look at the blue table and            see what those students are doing.”
·         “No one else in the class is out of their seat!  Why are you walking around the room?”
·         “Do you see anyone else doing that!?!?” (Extra punctuation means extra emotion!)

These kinds of statements are ubiquitous in the school setting.  They are constant and they have one constant theme: Do what your classmates (friends) do because the goal is that everyone should be the same and the only sin is being different. 

We even carry this into academic performance.  The main goal of all schools right now is that all kids score above the 40^th percentile on standardized measures of reading, math and science.  Standardized basically means there is a normal or average group of kids and we need all kids to be in that category.  This comes from No Child Left Behind and there are many challenges to this goal in terms of statistical realities and maybe even desirability (My last essay called Delight in the Gap deals with some of this). 

But beyond the challenges, think of the foundation on which it is built.  We need to close the gap in terms of achievement so that there is no gap in achievement – in other words, everyone is the same.  This close the gap thinking is applied (almost always unconsciously) to behavior as well.  The school system’s goal is that everyone’s behavior would be the same.  “You need to act like everyone else,” or more directly, “No one else is acting like that!”  I hear this from teachers I work with who in one form or another say to me, “My class would be fine if it wasn’t for . . . .” and the sentence is completed with the names of a student or students who act differently than the rest of the class in terms of behavior or achievement.

Kids are exposed to this incessant systemic voice which says, “Act like everyone else.”  And at the same time, they are taught to think for themselves – make your list and then make your own decision.  We have laid a foundation of thinking that can’t help but result in kids following peer pressure as a main source of decision making.  And we are surprised!  Because after all, we adults don’t make decisions based on peer pressure!  The fact that our churches and sports teams and service organizations and hobby groups and circle of friends are made up primarily of people who look and talk and believe just like us is not about peer pressure – it’s just our personal preference!  As I said, actions speak louder than words.

Lucy was right.  We do need a new way to address the pressures that kids face in dealing with really dangerous choices like smoking and drugs and alcohol and sexual activity.  What we are doing is not working and part of it is the truth that our current school system teaches peer pressure as the best way to know that one belongs.  And it teaches personal decision making based on one’s own list of pros and cons.  In my view, we need to start thinking in absolutes, a foreign concept in our relativistic world.  There are behaviors and actions that are wrong because they are wrong, not because no one else is doing it!  And there are behaviors and actions that are wrong even if EVERYone else is doing it.  It isn’t about opinion and pros and cons and conforming to the standard of others’ behaviors or even others’ achievement scores.  It’s about doing what is right because it is right.  I’m looking forward to seeing what Lucy comes up with from her point of view.  She’s an expert in teenage peer pressure, being a teen herself, and will have some great insight on what might actually work!